The idiot switch is a switch that is flipped on when someone says or does something that causes you to literally lose control and respond in ways that are uncharacteristic.

Janine is a manager at a large company.  She takes pride in her work and is consistently rewarded for excellent performance.  She is a team player and works hard on developing her communication skills.

Brenda is one of Janine's peers.  She is usually well respected for the quality of her work but Brenda's problem is that sometimes she is apparently insensitive.  She sometimes says the wrong things at the wrong time.

So here is the scenario.  Brenda sent Janine an email because Janine was running late with a project that affected Brenda's team.  In response to this, Brenda sent an e-mail to Janine demanding the information she needs from Janine immediately, insinuating that Janine is incompetent.  Not only was the e-mail insulting, Brenda copied the e-mail to Janine's peers and her boss.

Janine was infuriated by Brenda's scathing, blaming, condescending e-mail and by the fact that it was copied to her boss.  Janine described her anger as a tingling sensation creeping up her neck and then she couldn't remember what she said next.  She immediately sought Brenda while in this state and found her in her cubicle and literally spewed expletives as she erupted uncontrollably.   

Both Janine and Brenda were stunned by Janine's outburst.  Brenda was offended and so was Janine.  Brenda felt attacked and reported Janine.  The situation escalated again.

Sometimes it is appropriate for your idiot switch to be flipped.  You have to use discernment to determine the right time.  If it makes sense to take the path of least conflict, here are a few Emotional Intelligence tools that can help:

In this scenario, Brenda could use consequential thinking to think of the consequences of sending a condescending message.  Both Brenda and Janine display a high level of intrinsic motivation but blaming and feelings of being attacked kicked in and this type of sequence of events is not usually immediately productive.  Janine's buttons were pushed and it would take her some effort to calm down but it would have helped if she took a walk before "losing it".   Using reframing to put the situation in a different light could have helped Janine to create a different response.

We are all vulnerable to clicking on our own idiot switches.    The idiot switch is an internal switch and can only be turned on or off internally.  External stimuli cannot actually turn it on.  The person who is vulnerable to the idiot switch being in the on or off position has the power to flip it.  The decision to flip the switch is driven by your filters so monitor your filters to determine what is real and what is not real, learn to reframe situations quickly so that you can avoid turning on your idiot switch in the wrong place at the wrong time.