"Sucking Up", "Brown Nosing", "Kissing up", and favoritism.  No matter the vernacular, it all boils down to the same system or behaviors.  There are times when sucking up occurs as a result of a lack of competence where the dysfunctional behavior becomes a stand-in for competence because despite the lack or endowment of technical competencies, the employee becomes quite adept at adapting to their boss' needs by being overly agreeable.

Why does "Sucking Up" Occur?

It is sometimes mind-boggling to watch the evolution of the system of favoritism.  Mind-boggling because sometimes it is so obvious that the manager is being "played" or undermined, yet they remain blissfully oblivious to the system or its consequences.

To start with, I have to state that as part of the succession planning process, we sometimes tend to push or stretch our top performers and load them up with work.  This is acceptable is everyone is allowed to developed their respective strengths, whatever they are.  Persons identified by the succession process want to remain in our favor and attain that eventual promotion so they deliver, how, what, when and wherever you stipulate.    Their agenda is to prove to you that they can do it they way you want it to be done and sometimes they do this by diminishing the contribution of other players, acting like the primary contributions all came from them, and  by creating the impression that no-one else is competent enough...  As a leader you need to determine if this is true or part of a clever "spin" initiative designed to reserve their coveted spot.

And then there are the favorites who are not necessarily competent but are compromisingly agreeable and open to doing whatever you say or request.  They offer to pay for or collect your lunch or coffee, make poor judgment calls with pleasing you in mind, they agree with whatever you say,  minimize problematic situations for which they are responsible and exaggerate examples of their contribution to the team, hoping to make themselves sound irreplaceable.  The problem with this system of behavior is that these team members rarely provide constructive input so if you are in a leadership position surrounded by "yes men and women", it is only a matter of time before you become mediocre, static or less than optimal with meeting your performance goals.  Always remember, if you are not receiving constructive input, you are only as good as your own ideas and limitations - there is no healthy infusion of synergy.

There are persons who play the "Brown nosing" game to set you up for a fall.  They know that your idea, approach or plan will not work and they agree with you so that they can help to make you seem incompetent and put themselves in an enviable position in the longer run.  Leaders be aware but not paranoid...

"Sucking up" can also be the result of low self esteem.  An employee may feel the need to be accepted or liked so they agree with the boss, no matter if they have personal opinions or views or not.  What they do not take into account is that the boss sometimes needs observations that add to the breadth and depth of the discussion so that new and better ideas can evolve into being.

I recently heard a quote by the fictional character, Icabod Crane from the Movie "Sleepy Hollow" that is related  to this game people play at work.  He said, "Villainy wears many masks, none so dangerous as the mask of virtue."  I would venture to add one more mask here - the mask of agreeability.

Why does this System Self Perpetuate?

We talked about the low self esteem of the individual doing the "Brown Nosing" already but sometimes the leader also lacks confidence so platitudes being plastered on the boss serve the boss' ego needs.  Bosses sometimes fall into the trap of  this system, knowingly or otherwise because of a high need for validation or re-assurance.

This system also works and entrenches itself because the leader is not aware of or is just plain self deceptive about their biases.   For example, there are leaders  who state clearly that they don't promote favoritism, yet their biases surface and they are the only ones blind to obviousness of their biases.  Everyone else sees the biases and the onlookers either adapt, ignore or despise the boss.   Very few employees or peers have the courage to tackle this system head on.  Even senior managers or executives tend to avoid these types of discussions unless there is a crisis.

There is a very easy exercise called the "Halo and the Horn Effect" that I sometimes share with leaders.  It is very simple.  All you have to do is list your top three performers and your bottom three and identify why they are on the top or bottom lists by outlining their positive and negative attributes.  Once this is done, you have a ready made list of your positive and negative biases that impact ALL your interactions with members of your team.

Here are some additional questions you can ask yourself to help you to "flush out" your biases:

* How much do my top performers think like me?  If they do, does this really help me or the team?  If they 
   don't, am I open to diverse views?  Why or why not?
* What is their real contribution to the organization or the company?
* Who do I give the most positive recognition to?  How and why?
* Who do I give the most negative reinforcement to? How and why?

Then there are leaders who appear to sincerely ask others for ideas and input and proceed to become quite defensive or unnecessarily toxic if creative ideas are put on the table that did not originate with them. They use statements like, "We tried that before" or "That won't work" or even worse, they completely ignore your contribution.   So sometimes, just to keep the peace and avoid being marginalized unnecessarily, employees will say what they think you want to hear.  They feel they are forced to be disingenuous in order to survive and peacefully co-exist in the work environment.

Whatever the reason, "Sucking Up" creates a dysfunctional system of behaviors and as a leader, you need to take a deeper look at the systems of favoritism that you co-create and attempt to reinvent your approach by identifying your contribution to the system.  Ideally, your intention should be to create strong leadership behaviors within yourself that will eventually lead to the creation and maintenance of a functional, high performing team.