Confrontation is a “four letter” word in various business environments and typically, it is avoided at many costs.  Here are three scenarios that can happen in any office at any level:

Scenario 1
Jenny is a supervisor who took over a new team this year.  Jenny inherited Sandra, who is quite skilled at disappearing during peak periods of work.   Jenny is hesitant about saying anything to Sandra because Sandra is friendly with the CEO and so when Sandra disappears, other members of the team begrudgingly take on the extra work.  Over time, the work falls behind and when Jenny addresses the team about their productivity, an aggressive, heated exchange ensues.

Scenario 2
James is a good worker and contributes positively to the performance of the team.  Whenever he participates in a meeting, he cuts off the person speaking, always seeming to have a logical reason why something cannot be done.  Over time, other employees stop offering their ideas, and the meetings become less productive because everyone has disengaged.

Scenario 3
Ronnie is a very nice person but she doesn’t get her work done.  At lunch time she collects lunch from various restaurants for her coworkers, she bakes pastries and brings them to work and she always has uplifting words for her colleagues.  She is congenial, but her work misses deadlines, is incomplete or contains errors.  No one wants to be the “bad guy” and tell Ronnie that she is not performing.

In each of these scenarios, the use of constructive confrontation skills would help to ensure trust levels are not eroded by festering resentment caused by perceived avoidance.  Constructive confrontation is an assertive approach to building healthy working relationships that engenders open communication and collaboration.  Constructive confrontation is not blaming or biased, it is engaging, fact based and solution driven.

In many work environments, employees, supervisors and managers seem to use the word confrontation interchangeably with conflict.  This is because they usually delay addressing issues for so long that the confrontation ends up erupting into an exchange laced with anger, disappointment or frustration.  In other realities, when confrontation is well timed and used in a constructive way, it can actually build productivity, collaboration and morale.

Tips for Making Confrontation Constructive
• The first tip is to manage the issue as soon as possible.  While waiting may be an effective plan in some instances, it is usually ineffective because frustration “brews” the longer you take to contend with a situation.  If you tend to take long to manage an issue, respect for your leadership will erode and employees will view you as someone who is either unfair or afraid to do what is right.   Another reason you should not wait too late to deal with conflict is that early on, a situation may be resolved with a coaching session.  If you wait too long, it can lead to disciplinary action which could mean termination.
• Don’t assume confrontation has to be negative or unpleasant.  Reframe your biases and remember if you stick to the facts and avoid words that label, blame or express a negative opinion, you can create a constructive conversation.
• Avoid confusing confrontation with conflict.  While confrontation can show up as conflict in the form of an angry or aggressive exchange between individuals, it can also present as an open, assertive, coaching dialogue designed to develop conscious, engaged employees. 
• Be clear about what you have to say because constructive confrontation can be derailed by unclear, vague language that “tap dances” around root causes.
• Be solution driven and ensure there is a clear understanding at the end of the conversation about expectations and next steps. 
• Make your approach through the language of curiosity.  Blame and judgment will attract defensiveness and positioning, not transparence and collaboration.
• Be open to listening.  You are probably contributing to the challenge.
• Manage your emotions no matter what is being said to you.
• You can use the performance appraisal process to confront undesirable behaviours in employees.   Take note, this should not be the first time they hear about your dissatisfaction but it should help to hold them accountable to sustained changes in their behaviours.

Let’s go back to the three scenarios.  Ask yourself if you have a Jenny, James or Ronnie on your team.  Alternatively, think about if you see yourself in any of them.  Then ask yourself which combination of these tips can help you to confront the issues constructively.  Avoiding these opportunities to confront can lead to lowered employee morale, compromised productivity and a lack of respect for leadership.

In the book, The Art of Constructive Confrontation by John Hoover and Roger DiSilvestro they assert that, “Constructive confrontation increases accountability and decreases conflict. When things are not confronted early and often, they tend to crash and burn. By then, there’s nothing left but conflictual, accusatory, negative, blame-placing, find-a-scapegoat, search-for-the-guilty-and-punish-the-innocent, confrontation. No thanks… Confrontation keeps accountability high and conflict low by eliminating confusion, chaos, inconsistent messages, and double standards... Constructive confrontation is the strongest tool available to ensure effective leadership across an entire organization, at every level.” 

Yvette Bethel is CEO of Organizational Soul Ltd., an HR Consulting and Training Company.  Contact her at info@orgsoul.com or at  www.orgsoul.com.